"Poetically Disillusioned"

What I live for

I live for those who love me
Whose hearts kind and true
For all those human ties that bind me
For the task I believe is assigned to me

I live for those who know me through
And trust me even in my gloom
For brighter hopes yet to find me
And for the little good that’s yet to be done

I live for a distant future
For I know I shall have one
My convictions, I know there are some left
Grow with each new day
I know it’s easy to give up
But I’ve made my choice and I will go on..


Lost it ..

I often wonder, at myself
How lost forlorn I am
Like the books on my shelf
Life is seeming to loose its aim
I guess it’s all a complex game.
I know now one day I will fall
My body is becoming a machine after all
Day after day I drag it everywhere
Seems like my eyes know only to stare
Is it time to alter my attitude
Yes I guess that is the only way to liberate

I know it seems like I have lost it all
My past, my present, also my tomorrow
It makes me feel like a defeated soldier
But maybe life’s battle is meant to go on
And this is all for me to reach my end.

"Unsure !!"

Of all the things I believed in
The last teardrop is all I am left with.
It insists on being with me.
The little pearl hesitates to fall
And my finger refuses to wipe it away.

Sometimes I imagine how it would be
To feel free
To enjoy the wind of joy blow past me
For a minute
That’s all I ask
I’m told miracles happen
But am tired of waiting
Tired of letting things be

I feel a numbness overwhelm me
Why don’t I feel the pain anymore
I know it’s there
I can still see the smoky vision of
A distant future
Will it be a better one
That I cannot tell
All I can do is
Hope it will last….

"Rain on ME !!"

Clouds crowd over her thinking in disgust how dirty and dusty she looked.
Little did she know what was being plotted against right then, while she stagnated down here.
Drip..drip..thud..splash..thunder a flicker..Splatter shower time cried Cochin.
Yes, Cochin finally got a shower spree and I thoroughly enjoyed it danced in the rain like crazy on my terrace dragged Alec (my pet pug) along too was total fun.
The smell of fresh air, the sight of lush green trees drenched buildings not a inch left untouched by rain including me. The city looked splendid to me.
I return home.
Then a germ of a thought struck me.

Life often throws at you a series of questions and situations
Ever wondered why me? Well I have on several occasions.
Why does it always have to rain on me, then I think why shouldn't it, I mean it does on the rest of the world doesn't it so why not rain on me. You stand alone without an umbrella in the pouring rain. Moments later you're everything but dry.

So many questions so few answers.

To quote Travis
"Why does it always rain on me?
Even when the sun is shining.
I cannot avoid the lightening."

I figured there is no point cribbing, fuming and fretting about how life sucks and everything seems to go wrong with you and it seems to be raining all over you, your life and your entire being.
Just catch a little raindrop put it in your hand, hold on to it ,enjoy it till it finally vanishes just like life!!

Not making much sense now am I?
Just some random thoughts I had.

"Angel"

Dear Mommy and Papa,

I am in Heaven now, sitting on God's lap. He loves me and cries with me; for my heart has been broken. I so wanted to be your little girl.
I don't quite understand what has happened. I was so excited when I began realizing my existence. I was in a dark, yet comfortable place. I saw I had fingers and toes. I was pretty far along in my developing, yet not near ready to leave my surroundings. I spent most of my time thinking or sleeping. Even from my earliest days, I felt a special bonding between you and me. Sometimes I heard you crying and I cried with you. Sometimes you would yell or scream, then cry. I heard Daddy yelling back. I was sad, and hoped you would be better soon. I wondered why you cried so much.

One day you cried almost all of the day. I cried with you. I couldn't imagine why you were so unhappy. That same day, the most horrible thing happened. A very mean monster came into that warm, comfortable place I was in. I was so scared, I began screaming, but you never once tried to help me. Maybe you never heard me. The monster got closer and closer as I was screaming and screaming, " Mommy, Mommy , help me please; Mommy, help me." Complete terror is all I felt. I screamed and screamed until I thought I couldn't anymore.Then the monster started ripping my arm off. It hurt so bad; the pain I can never explain. It didn't stop. Oh, how I begged it to stop. I screamed in horror as it ripped my leg off.

Though I was in such complete pain, I was dying. I knew I would never see your face or hear you say how much you love me. I wanted to make all your tears go away. I had so many plans to make you happy. Now I couldn't; all my dreams were shattered. Though I was in utter pain and horror, I felt the pain of my heart breaking, above all. I wanted more than anything to be your daughter. No use now, for I was dying a painful death. I could only imagine the terrible things that they had done to you. I wanted to tell you that I love you before I was gone, but I didn't know the words you could understand. And soon, I no longer had the breath to say them; I was dead. I felt myself rising.

I was being carried by a huge angel into a big beautiful place. I was still crying, but the physical pain was gone. The angel took me to God and set me on His lap. He said He loved me, and He was my Father. Then I was happy. I asked Him what the thing was that killed me. He answered, "Abortion. I am sorry, my child; for I know how it feels." I don't know what abortion is; I guess that's the name of the monster.

I'm writing to say that I love you and to tell you how much I wanted to be your little girl. I tried very hard to live. I wanted to live. I had the will, but I couldn't; the monster was too powerful. It sucked my arm and legs off and finally got all of me. It was impossible to live. I just wanted you to know I tried to stay with you. I didn't want to die.

Also, Mommy, please watch out for that abortion monster.

Mommy, I love you and I would hate for you to go through the kind of pain I did.

Please be careful.

Love,
Your Baby Girl

ATTENTION !!

* Every minute, 29 childbirths happen in India.
* Every minute, a woman dies of childbirth in India.
* Every 23 minutes, a lady is sexually assaulted in India.
* Every 49 minutes, an act of abortion is carried out in India.

We need to curb the injustice meted out to the fairer gender. Its a loud cry, which we all turn a deaf ear to. Lets all protect the "BUNDLE OF JOY".